Optical Delusion
by Player2PressStart
Summary: Rigby damages his eyes after an all night gaming binge and now has to wear glasses. This isn't a big deal to normal people, but to Rigby it's the worst thing ever and he'll go to outrageous lengths to never wear them again. Rated K for cartoon violence.
1. 3D Game for a 3D World

**Author's Note:  
After doing more mature stories I thought I'd try to do a story that's more true to the show. I wrote this one like an episode that would air on CN(but not as good). Not much else to say so let's get to it. I don't own Regular Show or its characters. I don't own many things now that I think about it, that's depressing.  
**

* * *

"Dude, I can't believe how hot it was today" Mordecai said as he reached into the fridge and pulled out two cans of soda.

Mordecai handed the extra can to Rigby who wasted no time opening it, "I know, and Benson still had us mow the lawn in this hundred degree weather".

"You have a problem with that" Benson said, unbeknownst to them he was standing in the doorway the whole time.

Mordecai quickly rushed over to his boss, "No, no problem at all. Ha ha".

Benson let out an annoyed sigh, "Whatever, by the way a package came for you guys earlier".

Mordecai immediately looked down at Rigby, "Dude, it's here" he said excitedly.

Rigby turned to Benson, "Where is it".

"I set it on the coffee table for…" before he could finish the two darted past him into the living rooms.

Mordecai was the first to reach the box and went to work cutting through the tape.

"Open it, open it, _**open it**_" Rigby screamed impatiently.

Mordecai finally managed to open the box and slowly pulled the anticipated item out. It was a weird red device that looked like a pair of oversized goggles but with no lenses, in the back as a place to look into and it had a black stand on the bottom. Rigby and Mordecai stared at it in awe.

"What the heck is that" Benson asked.

"It's the Virtual Dude" Rigby answered, still not breaking his gaze from the device.

Benson shook his head, "What's a Virtual Dude".

"It's a 3D virtual reality game console" Mordecai replied while setting it down on the coffee table.

"It's the future of gaming" Rigby said in wonder.

Mordecai looked back at Benson, "They came out a few years ago, but they stopped making them".

"Why" Benson asked, wondering why it wasn't so successful if it was the 'future of gaming'.

Mordecai shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know… too expensive"?

"Too awesome" Rigby added, still staring at it.

"Whatever, you guys have fun" Benson said before walking up the stairs to his office.

Rigby finally pried his eyes away from the Virtual Dude and looked at Mordecai, "Let's try it out".

"You remember to get the batteries" Mordecai asked.

"_**Uhhh**_"

Mordecai groaned, "I knew you'd forget, luckily I got a pack yesterday" he run up to his room and retrieved the AA batteries from his nightstand before jetting back to the living room. He opened the case and picked the console and started to look all over it, "_**Uhh**_, where do the batteries go in this thing"?

While Mordecai was looking over the device Rigby started digging through the box, "I don't know dude, just find it".

"I'm trying" Mordecai blurted out, growing more and more frustrated.

Rigby pulled the controller out of the box and started checking it out, then suddenly the back popped off, "_**Whoa**_, dude the batteries go in the controller".

Mordecai set the console down, "Hmm, that's weird" he grabbed the controller from Rigby and put six AA batteries into it. He plugged the controller in, inserted one of the game cartridges and sat on the couch. He positioned the console on the coffee table in front of him and leaned into it, placing his head into it before finally turning it on.

A few minutes passed as Mordecai played the Virtual Dude and Rigby couldn't contain himself anymore, "Dude, how is it? Is it the future of gaming"?

Mordecai shrugged his shoulders, "Meh, not really. Everything's red and stuff, plus the graphics aren't that spectacular".

"_**Ah**_, what" Rigby whined disappointedly, "How's the 3D"?

Mordecai was still unenthusiastic, "It's alright, but it's really hard on my eyes". He finally pulled back from the machine and rubbed his eyes.

"Let me try" Rigby sat on the couch and moved the Virtual Dude in front of him. He leaned in and started to play and his reaction was much different than Mordecai's, "Dude, this is awesome. I can't believe you didn't like this".

"Whatever" He replied while still rubbing his eyes, "You can play it all you want, I'm done. That was torture on my eyes". Rigby continued to play in the virtual reality device, he had a huge grin on his face and would occasionally voice his excitement with a 'whoa' or 'awesome' ever now and then. Mordecai just sat and watched TV while Rigby toyed with the weird dual D-pad controller. After a while Mordecai let out a loud yawn and stood up, "Well I'm going to bed".

"Yeah yeah" Rigby said indifferently.

"I wouldn't play that much longer if I were you" Mordecai warned as he made his way to the stairs, "It'll mess with your eyes". He got no response from Rigby so he just walked upstairs and went to bed.

Rigby however continued to play the Virtual Dude into the late hours of the night.

* * *

Mordecai groggily opened his eyes as his alarm blared, he reached over to his phone to stop the annoying ringing. He sat up and stretched, "Rigby, time to wake up" he looked over to find that Rigby wasn't on his trampoline. Mordecai scratched his head as he got up from his bed, he walked to the halfway and made his way down the stairs. When he made it into the living room his eyes burst open, "Rigby"!

Rigby was still sitting on the couch with his face in the Virtual Dude slowly moving his thumbs as he tiredly played the console. Mordecai ran over and pulled him away from the red machine. His eyes were red and dry, Rigby slowly blinked his bloodshot eyes as he let out a quiet moan.

"Dude, were you playing that all night" Mordecai asked in bewilderment. Not a word came from Rigby's mouth, he just groaned and nodded. "Rigby, what's wrong with you. Your eyes look messed up".

Rigby whined in pain as he slowly leaned towards the Virtual Dude but Mordecai grabbed him and threw him back, "Stop, I just need to get to the next checkpoint".

"No, you need to stop" Mordecai said as he pulled the controller out of the console, cutting off its power.

"_**Nooo**_" Rigby yelled (or attempted to yell) as he slowly threw his fist towards Mordecai, way too exhausted to properly punch him.

"Knock it off" Mordecai scoffed as he swatted away Rigby's arm, "Get ready for work, I'm gonna get you some drops". Mordecai ran up to his room as Rigby blankly stared off into space, after a minute of looking at the ceiling Mordecai returned with the drops. "Here" he held out the drops, but Rigby didn't make an attempt at grabbing them. Mordecai groaned and he grabbed Rigby's head and put a few drops in each eye. "How you feeling"?

Rigby slowly sat up, "Better…I guess".

"Good, now get ready. We have to be outside in like ten minutes" Mordecai said as he walked to the stairs. Rigby stood up and attempted to go to the stairs as well, but bumped into the coffee table. Then he hit his shoulder against the wall walking into the next room. "_**Uhh**_, are you ok"?

"Yeah, yeah" Rigby replied as he felt his way to the stairs.

Mordecai curiously watched as Rigby clumsily walked up the stairs, but he brushed it off as he went upstairs to get ready.

* * *

The two were outside, Benson told them to pick up all the litter. Mordecai hastily picked up trash and threw it in his trash bag, but Rigby just stabbed the ground as he struggled to get a single piece of garbage. Mordecai immediately noticed this, "Rigby, are you sure you're alright".

"Yeah, why" he asked as he poked the grass.

"_**Uhh**_, because you're not getting any trash" Mordecai pointed out.

"I don't know, I think my equilibrium is off" Rigby replied.

"Ok first off, I'm not even going to asked how you know what equilibrium means, secondly I think the Virtual Dude screwed up your eyes" Mordecai retorted.

Rigby threw down his empty bag, which wafted in the air, "First of all, why shouldn't I know what equilibrium mean. I know things".

"You heard Eileen use it once didn't you" Mordecai asked.

"Shut up" Rigby screamed, "And to answer your second question…"

"It wasn't a question"

"Statement whatever" Rigby scoffed, "my eyes are fine".

Mordecai set his bag down and walked over to Rigby, "Ok… then how many fingers am I holding up" Mordecai held up two fingers.

Rigby squinted his eyes as he leaned towards his hands, "Three"?

"Nope" Mordecai held up all his fingers, "How bout now".

Rigby leaned in closer to Mordecai's hand, "_**Uhh**_, five".

Mordecai threw his other arm into the air, "No, I don't even have five fingers".

Rigby crossed his arms, "Come on, you have at least five fingers".

Mordecai jabbed Rigby in his arm, "I mean I this hand. Admit it, you can't see".

"No, I'm just tired" Rigby argued, "Maybe some coffee will wake me up".

Mordecai shook his head, "Fine, let's go". Mordecai started to make his way to the cart, Rigby went to follow but got his legs tangled in his trash bag and feel to the ground. Mordecai looked back to see Rigby lying on the ground.

"Don't start"

* * *

Mordecai walked to their usual table and sat in his spot, then he looked back and watched in amusement as Rigby made his way to the table bumping into the other tables until he finally made it. "Wow, I guess you really need coffee".

"Shut it" Rigby said as he sat down.

Shortly after arriving Eileen walked over to their table, "Hey guys, what can I get for you".

"Just two coffees" Mordecai answered.

"Ok, I'll get that for you right away" she turned around and walked back to the counter. After a minute she came back to the table and sat their coffee down, "Here you go".

Mordecai picked his up and took a sip, but Rigby was moving his hand around trying to find grab his mug handle. When he found it he slowly lifted it up to his mouth and took a sip.

Eileen felt concerned as she watched him struggle to drink his coffee, "Rigby, are you ok"?

Before Rigby could answer for himself Mordecai chimed in, "No, he spent all night playing Virtual Dude and messed his eyes up".

"The Virtual Dude" Eileen said worriedly, "They discontinued that because it caused severe eye strain".

"Really" Mordecai asked in shock.

"Yeah, it was really bad. Nobody could play it for more than an hour" Eileen replied with a concerned tone in her voice. She turned to Rigby, "You should go see Dr. Summers, he's my optometrist and he's the best in town".

"No" Rigby yelled, "I'm not going to an eye doctor, I'm fine".

"But Rigby, you might have damaged your eyes and you might need glasses" Eileen implored.

"No way, I said I'm fine" Rigby scoffed as he went to sit his mug down, but he sat it on the edge of the table and it immediately fell over and spilled the hot coffee into his lap. Rigby yelled out in agony as he jumped out of his seat and fell to the floor. Eileen and Mordecai rushed to his side to see if he was ok. He rolled on his back and looked up to the ceiling, "Maybe I'll check it out".

* * *

Rigby was sitting in the exam chair as the doctor rolled over to him on his chair, "Ok, now I'm going to do some test. I need cover your right eye and read off the letters in the sixth row".

Rigby covered his eye like the doctor asked and read off the letters, "_**Uh**_, ok. B, O, T, G, _**uhh**_ 8, and D".

"Dude not even close" Mordecai chuckled from the corner of the room.

"Shut up" Rigby yelled back, "I couldn't have done that bad".

"Rigby, you said eight. That's not even a letter" Mordecai ridiculed.

"Why are you even here" Rigby scoffed.

"To make sure you can't lie about what the doctor tells you" Mordecai explained.

Dr. Summers leaned forward and move the phoropter in front of Rigby, "Ok, now I need you to rest your chin here and I'm going to show you two options. I need you to tell me which one is clearer".

Rigby rested his chin where the doctor told him and they continued with the test. When they finished Dr. Summer moved the phoropter out of the way and rolled to his desk to retrieve his clipboard, "Ok Rigby, I'm going to prescribe you some corrective lenses to help your vision".

Rigby leaned towards Dr. Summers, "What, you mean glasses"? Summers nodded his head, then Rigby jumped out of the chair, "Oh no, I'm not wearing glasses".

Mordecai got up and walked over to him, "Rigby, you have to wear them. You can't live without being able to see".

Rigby looked up at Mordecai, "I don't care, I'm gonna look like a nerd".

"Stop being a baby" Mordecai sneered, "You have to wear them".

Rigby buried his head into his hands, "Fine".

Dr. Summer finished writing on his clipboard and stood up, "Ok, let's go look at some frames for you to pick out".

* * *

At the morning meeting the next day Rigby just sat on the steps while Muscle Man pointed and laughed hysterically at him, "Nice glasses bro".

"Shut up Muscle Man" Rigby scoffed.

Muscle Man just continued laughing, he eventually grabbed his stomach from laughing so hard, "What's today's lesson Professor Rigby, _**haha**_".

"I said cut it out" Rigby yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Oh, did I offend you 'Dorkby', _**haha**_" Muscle Man chuckled.

Rigby let out an annoyed groan, "Dude, if you're going to make fun of me at least come up with something cooler that 'Dorkby', that's lame".

"Like you know what cool is, Dorkby" Muscle Man said between breaths as he laughed madly.

"Alright, that's enough you two" Benson said, "Muscle Man leave Rigby alone. Now we got a lot to do today". Benson looked at his chores list, "Five and Muscle Man you two are working the snack bar, Mordecai and Rigby I need you to go to all the lampposts and change all the light bulbs.

Mordecai and Rigby moaned in unison, "Why do we have to do that" Rigby whined.

"Because, it's been too long since we changed any of them and now most of them are burnt out" Benson said sternly at the two.

"But it'll take forever for us to change them all" Mordecai complained.

Benson's dome turned bright red, "I don't care how long it takes, you better do it or you're…"

"Or we're fired, yeah yeah we know" Rigby interrupted.

Being cut off midsentence pushed Benson to the breaking point, "_**No you don't know, I will end you, I swear I will destroy you both if you don't do it now**_".

Rigby and Mordecai immediately stood up, "Ok ok, we're on it" Mordecai said as they ran off to get the ladder.

The color in Benson's dome returned to purple as he looked at his clipboard, "Ok, now for the rest of you".

* * *

Rigby reached up from the top of the ladder as he tried to unscrew the light bulb in the lamppost. Mordecai was at the bottom of the ladder holding it, "Hurry up dude, we've been doing this for an hour and we're only on the fourth one".

"I'm trying, but I can barely reach them" Rigby said as he stretched towards the bulb, "Why don't you do it".

"No way, the last time I did it you acted like you're an expert so you can do it" Mordecai scoffed from below.

As Rigby tried to reach the light, but his glasses kept sliding down his nose, he pushed them back up before trying again to unscrew the bulb. Almost immediately after pushing them up they started to fall off again, so again he went to push them up, "Stop moving". As he was pushing up his glasses he lost his grip and almost fell off the ladder. He grabbed onto the ladder but it caused it to tip over and fall, slamming him into the ground. "Rigby" Mordecai said as he ran to his friends aid, "Rigby, are you ok".

Rigby brought himself to his feet and dusted himself off, "No, these glasses are ruining my life". He stormed off towards the house.

"What are you doing" Mordecai yelled at Rigby as he moved further away.

Rigby looked back at Mordecai, "I'm gonna have a talk with Benson". He walked to the house, then marched upstairs to Benson's office.

When he entered his office Benson looked up from his paperwork, "What do you want Rigby"?

Rigby went straight to the point, "I'm sick of these glasses Benson, I want contacts or something".

"I'm sorry Rigby, but the park health plan only covers glasses" Benson explained to Rigby.

Rigby groaned loudly, then he thought that if he could convince Benson they were interfering with his work he'll make an exception, "You don't get it, I can't get any work done with them. They keep getting in the way, I even fell off the ladder because of them".

"Really" Benson said in a worried tone, "Were you hurt"?

Rigby shook his head, "No, but I could have been. These things are a hazard".

A deep sigh escaped from Benson's mouth, "I'm sorry Rigby, but there's nothing I can do. If you want contacts you'll have to pay for them yourself".

"What, well how much do they cost" Rigby asked.

"Well don't quote me on this but my sister says it costs about two hundred dollars to get her daughter a year supply" Benson answered.

"Two hundred bucks… a _**year**_" Rigby whined, "I can't afford that".

Benson went back to his paperwork, "Well then it looks like the glasses are your only option, now if we're done here I have to get back to work and so should you".

Rigby exited the office with a heavy feeling in his chest, he was stuck with these glasses for the rest of his life. The ridicule, the annoyance, the fact that he can't see a 3D movie without awkwardly putting the 3D glasses over his glasses, he was going to have to live with forever, "I need a drink". Rigby walked all the way from the park to the coffee shop. He made his way to his table and took a seat.

A minute later Eileen walked over to great him, "Hey, Rigby. I see you got glasses" she said cheerfully.

Rigby just shook his head, "Don't remind me".

"What's wrong, you don't like them" Eileen asked.

"I hate them, it's the worst thing to ever happen to me" Rigby blurted out.

Eileen walked over to him and patted him on the back, "It's not that bad Rigby, I think you look good with glasses".

"I look like a nerd" Rigby shouted as he brushed Eileen's hand off of him, "That's who glasses are for". Eileen was deeply offended by Rigby's remark, but he was so dense that he didn't even notice. "I just wish there was a permanent way to fix my eyes".

"Well, there is Lasik" Eileen pointed out.

Rigby looked at her with a grin on his face, "Really, how much does it cost"?

Eileen rubbed her chin as she thought it over, "I thing between three to five thousand dollars".

Hearing this made Rigby cry out is disappointment, "That's worse than the contacts, why would you even bring it up"?

Eileen felt bad for getting his hopes up, "I'm sorry, it's just you asked so I thought I'd let you know".

Rigby buried his face into his hands, "This is hopeless".

"Cheer up Rigby" Eileen said trying to brighten his mood, "Glasses aren't that bad, you'll get use to them, I've been wearing glasses since second grade and I got used to it pretty fast".

"Sorry, but I don't _**want**_ to get used to it" Rigby got up and made his way to the exit, "I'm just gonna head back to the park".

"But Rigby, you just got here" Eileen yelled at him as he neared the door, "You didn't even get anything, we can talk about this".

But it was no use, Rigby exited the coffee shop and walked down the sidewalk disheartened, "Stupid glasses, I hate them. I'd do _**anything**_ to get rid of them". Suddenly Rigby heard something.

"_**Psst**_"

Rigby looked towards the noise and saw a short man in the alleyway next to him, he was hunched over and wearing a black coat, "I heard you need to get your eyes fixed".

Rigby walked over to him, "_**Uh**_, yeah" he replied hesitantly.

The man hobbled closer to Rigby, "I know a man how can fix ya, free of charge".

"Really" Rigby said in disbelief.

"Yeah" the strange man answered, "Just follow me and I'll take you to him".

The man started to hop away, so Rigby followed him into the dark alley.

* * *

**Author's Note:  
Well that's chapter one, I hope you liked it and I would appreciate it if you left a review to let me know what you think. The Virtual Dude is a parody of the Virtual Boy, a 3d game console Nintendo released in 1995. All the things I said about the Virtual Dude is also true about the Virtual Boy. It's said it was rushed out to fill the void caused by the delay of the N64(Then known as the Ultra 64). It only lasted a year and was a commercial failure. I don't know if the eye strain was enough to cause permanent eye damage but oh well. Also Dr. Summers is an homage to Scott Summers, also known as Cyclops from Xmen. See you next chapter.**


	2. A Different View

**Author's Note:  
So I noticed from people abbreviating Virtual Boy as VB that the initials for Virtual Dude is VD... did not think that through. Anyway, last chapter Rigby damaged his eyes and needed glasses, but he hated them so much that he followed an unknown man who said he knew someone who could fix them. Seems legit. I don't own Regular Show or its characters, I'm not that creative.**

* * *

Rigby followed the strange man down a series of alleyways until they reached a set of stairs that led to a steel door, "Right this way" the man said as he pushed open the door.

Rigby looked through the door and saw another set of stairs that led down into the basement, it was too dark for him to make anything else out. He took a deep breath and made his way down the steps, when he reached the bottom there was yet another door. The short man approached the door and pounded loudly on it. After a few seconds a slot in the door opened revealing a pair of tired eyes. Rigby's escort looked up at the man, "Found you a volunteer".

"Ah, very good Fritz" the man said before closing the slot. Then Rigby heard the sound of the door unlocking before it suddenly flung open. On the other side was a tall man with shaggy black hair wearing a white lab coat, "Come on in".

Rigby followed him through the door. Once he was inside he heard the door slam behind him, causing him to jump. Once he calmed himself he took a look at his surroundings. The room had a cement floor and stone walls, it was filled with strange machines and surgical supplies. As he stared at the décor he started to have second thoughts.

The man in the lab coat walked up to Rigby, "Let me introduce myself, I'm Dr. Shelley" he held out his hand.

Rigby looked up at his hand before shaking it, "_**Uh**_, Rigby".

"Pleased to meet you Rigby" He let go of his hand, "now what can I do for you?"

"_**Uhhhh**_" Rigby said awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck, "I heard you could fix my eyes?"

Dr. Shelley clapped his hands together, "Eyes, I can do that. Absolutely". He place his hand on Rigby's shoulder and led him to a table, "Rigby, what if I told you I can not only fix your eyes, but make them better than before?"

Rigby stared up at him in disbelief, "Really… how?"

"With _**these**_" he grabbed a white cloth and pulled it off the table, revealing two round metal devices, "Optical implants".

"_**Whoaaa**_".

"Indeed" Shelley said before picking up one of the implants, "I'll replace your flawed eyes with these, and not only will you see perfectly, you'll also have an array of other amazing features".

"That's awesome" Rigby cheered, but his excited demeanor quickly faded, "Are there any risks?"

Dr. Shelley shook his head, "No, I could do this operation in my sleep".

Rigby rubbed his chin, he felt that this was too good to be true, "That guy said you'd do it for free. What's the catch?"

"No catch" Shelley said while waving his hand back and forth, "I've needed to test the implants out so you'll actually be doing _**me**_ a favor".

Rigby grinned from ear to ear, he was excited to get his new eyes and not have to wear the glasses anymore, "Awesome, let do this".

Dr. Shelley nodded, "Great, now just come over here and lay down on the operating table". Rigby walked over to the table and laid down, Dr. Shelley then approached him and place his hands and feet into leather straps. He firmly tightened them before looking at Rigby, "Are those too tight?"

"No" Rigby said while Shelley moved a large machine over to the table and positioned it over his face, "Is this where you give me to anesthesia?"

Dr. Shelley walked over to the other side of the machine where a small control panel was located, he looked over at Rigby, "Anesthesia?". Shelley activated the machine and suddenly two metal claws appeared and began the process of removing Rigby's eyes. Rigby yelled in pain and the machine detached his eyes and started to connect the implants wiring to his optic nerves. The claws them inserted the mechanical eyes before retreating back into the machine. Dr. Shelley then deactivated the machine before walking over to Rigby, "And done, your new eyes should be sending information shortly".

A few seconds later Rigby's sight returned, and just like Shelley promised him everything seemed crystal clear, "Wow, I can… I can see. I can see perfectly".

"Excellent" Dr. Shelley said before walking back to the machine, he took Rigby's old eyes and placed them in a jar. He then walked over to Fritz and handed the jar to him, signaling him to take it somewhere. As Fritz ran off Shelley walked back to Rigby, "I'll give you a few minutes to get adjusted to your implants then I'll show you how to use to extra features".

Rigby continued to look around the room in amazement of his new and improved vision, "This. Is. _**Awesome**_. I can't wait to show Mordecai this".

* * *

Mordecai balanced himself on the ladder while he finished screwing in the new light bulb into the lamppost. When he finally finished he climbed back down, when his was back on the grass he wiped the sweat from his forehead. Then suddenly he heard a voice behind him.

"How's it going Mordecai?"

"Rigby, where have you been" Mordecai scoffed angrily as he started to turn around, "I've been changing these all by mysel… _**Ahhh**_". Mordecai yelled in shock when he finally noticed Rigby's eyes, they were a chrome color with a reddish glass lenses in the center, "What happened to your eyes?"

"Oh, my eyes?" Rigby said nonchalantly, "They weren't working for me so I got an upgrade, pretty sweet right?"

Mordecai threw his hands into the air, "No, they look creepy. And what do you mean 'upgrade'? What did you do?"

"_**Pff**_, what do you think I did. I got eye implants" Rigby said while rolling his metallic eyes.

"Are you nuts?" Mordecai yelled as he grabbed his head in shock of Rigby's stupidity, "You can't just remove your eyes and replace them, that's insane".

Rigby ignored Mordecai's concern and just shook his head, "Oh really? Is it _**insane**_ that my vision is ten times better than before?"

"No, it's _**insane**_ that you'd remove a part of your _**body**_".

Rigby walked up to Mordecai and started to pat him on the back, "You need to relax Mordecai. You should take a break, your core body temperature's kinda high".

His comment caused Mordecai to raise an eyebrow, "How could you possibly know that?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you? These bad boys got _**infrared**_" Rigby answered while pointing to his eyes, "_**Yeeeaaah-uhh**_".

Mordecai let out a loud defeated groan, "Fine, let's take a break".

* * *

Back at the coffee shop Eileen was cleaning off one of the tables when she heard the door open. Out of the corner of her eyes she noticed Mordecai and Rigby walk down the steps to their table so she hurried to finish the table, "Hey guys" she said as she turned towards them. "Are you going to get something this time Rigby?" she said jokingly before letting out a loud scream when she noticed Rigby's eyes. "Rigby, your eyes".

"I know, pretty cool right?" Rigby said, "I got robot eyes".

"Oh Rigby, I can't believe you'd do something so drastic" Eileen said with a worried tone in her voice.

"Just say stupid Eileen, you don't have to sugar coat it" Mordecai added.

Rigby glared at Mordecai, "There not stupid, these things are amazing. They got night vision, which is great because my night vision never fully developed so now I can see in the dark like the rest of my family".

Eileen simply shook her head as Rigby tried to defend his decision, "Rigby I know you didn't like your glasses but this seems a little extreme".

Rigby turned towards Eileen, "Look you guys can argue all you want, but you won't be able to convince me that getting these was a bad idea".

"Ok" Eileen said disheartened, "I'll get you guys your coffee then".

Eileen ran back to the counter and soon returned with two mugs of coffee, "Here you go" she said as she placed them on the table.

"Thanks" Mordecai said as he lifted up his cup and took a drink. His face cringed as he sipped from the cup, "Hey, I don't mean to be rude but this is a little on the cold side".

Eileen slapped her head against her forehead, "Oh no, I forgot to brew a new batch. That's been sitting there all day, I'll go brew a fresh batch real quick for you". She was about to turned to run back to the counter when she heard Rigby say something.

"No need, watch this. _**Bam!**_" suddenly red beams of light shot out of his eyes to Mordecai's mug. When he was done he threw his arms into the air, "_**Ah yeah**_, laser eyes".

Mordecai stared in disbelief at the now steaming cup of coffee in front of him, "You're kidding me".

* * *

The duo entered the house and made their way to the couch, "Dude, I'm so happy we finally got all those lights changed" Mordecai said as he flopped onto the couch.

Rigby sat down next to him, "Tell me about it, I thought it'd never end".

Mordecai grabbed the remote and turned the TV on and started to surf through the channels, and then suddenly they heard someone coming down the stairs. They looked back and saw Benson walking to the door carrying a box. "Hey Benson" Rigby said.

"Hey you two" Benson said without looking back, "Did you guys finish changing the light bulbs?"

"Yeah" Mordecai answered, "Every last one".

"Good, glad to hear that" Benson then continued to walk to the door.

"What's in the box" Rigby asked.

Benson stopped and looked over at him, "I'm not telling you guys".

"_**Ah**_, what" Rigby groaned, "Why?"

"Uh, because then you'd guys will start bugging me about keeping it so I decided it'd be better to not even tell you in the first place" Benson explained.

Rigby then focused on the box and used his new eyes to glimpse at its contents, "Dude, it's a neon Crimson Steer sign".

"What, you mean the energy drink that sponsors all those awesome stunts?" Mordecai asked.

Rigby looked back at Mordecai, "Yeah".

"What" Benson's blurted out in confusion, "How did you know?"

Rigby turned his sights to Benson and pointed to his eyes, "Oh, just a little thing called x-ray vision".

Benson leaned closer to get a better look at him, "What on Earth did you do to your eyes Rigby?"

"He got implants" Mordecai answered before Rigby could explain himself.

"Oh" Benson said before continuing his walk to the door, "Well anyway it doesn't matter, because I'm throwing this piece of junk away" he finished as he exited the house.

"Benson wait" Mordecai yelled as the two got up and ran out after him, "You can't just throw that away".

"Yeah, it would look so cool in our room" Rigby added, "Please let us have it".

"No" Benson answered while still looking forward, "The power cords starting to fray and it's a potential fire hazard, it has to go I'm sorry".

"Come on Benson" Mordecai pleaded.

"Guys, I'm sorry but my hands are tied" he replied, "When I found it in the attic my first thought was to give it to you guys, but with the cord the way it is it's way too dangerous". Benson looked back at the two, "The next time I find anything that needs to get thrown out you guys can have first pick, ok".

Mordecai stopped and looked down at his feet, "Ok".

"Ok, good bye" Benson said as he continued to walked towards the dumpster.

Mordecai and Rigby then walked back to the house defeated, they staggered to the couch and sat down. They both watched the TV for a few hours before it started to get dark. "Hey Mordecai, you know what I'm thinkin'?"

Mordecai looked over at Rigby, "That we should go to the dumpster and get that sign?"

"Exactly" Rigby yelled as he jumped up onto the couch, "I mean, it would look totally awesome on our wall".

Mordecai suddenly shot up from the couch, "Yeah, and the cord can't be that bad. We'll just tape it up and it'll be as good as new".

"Let's do it" Rigby jumped down from the couch and ran to the door, Mordecai soon followed. They ran outside and walked all the way to the dumpster by the snack bar. Mordecai opened the lid and gave Rigby a boost inside.

Mordecai stood by the dumpster as he heard Rigby rustling around inside, "Do you see it?"

Suddenly Rigby emerged from the dumpster with the box in his hands, "Found it". He sat it on the ground and opened the box, and the light seemed to be in good condition.

"_**Ah yeah**_" Mordecai said as he closed the box and carried it back to the house. They walked up stairs to their room and sat the box on the floor. He pulled the sign out and hung it up above the dresser, "Dude, this is gonna look so cool".

While Mordecai was hanging it on the wall Rigby was taping up the frayed wire with masking tape , "Enough talk, lets light this thing up". Rigby took the cord and reached for the outlet behind the dresser, he maneuvered it around until it finally plugged it. Rigby instantly felt a surge of electricity course through his body and he fell back onto the floor.

"Rigby" Mordecai ran up and knelt down beside him, "Are you ok".

Sparks shot up from Rigby's closed eyelids as he let out a quiet moan, "I think I'm fine". Mordecai helped him up, he rubbed his eyes as he tried to regain his balance, "Stupid thing zapped me".

Mordecai pulled the cord out from behind the dresser and examined it, "Dude, that's because you wrapped it with masking tape. You were supposed to use electrical tape".

Rigby continued to rub his head, trying to lessen the headache he had, "Sorry, I'm not an electrician". Rigby lifted his head up and finally opened his eyes, as soon as he did bright red lasers shot out. Mordecai jumped out of the way as they hit the dresser, causing it to explode. Rigby panicked and turned his head leading the lasers along the wall, leaving a burnt trail behind it.

"Rigby stop" Mordecai yelled from the ground while he covered his head.

"I can't" Rigby screamed, "They won't turn off for some reason". The lasers hit the window and shattered the glass.

Mordecai shielded himself from the falling shards, "Close your eyes".

Rigby did just that and when he did the lasers stopped, he then stumbled around with his hand held out, "Mordecai where are you?"

Mordecai got up from the floor and walked over to Rigby, "I'm right here".

Rigby turned towards his voice, "What's going on, why can't I turn the lasers off?"

Mordecai rubbed his chin as he pondered on an explanation, then he looked over at the sign hanging on the wall, "The sign. When you got electrocuted while plugging it in it must've fried something in your eyes, causing the lasers to go off".

"_**Ah**_ what" Rigby whined, "So I can't open my eyes until I fix them, lame".

"I know, we need to talk to Skips" Mordecai said.

"Why, Skips isn't good with technology" Rigby said as he bumped into Mordecai's bed.

"It's our best bet dude" Mordecai retorted as he walked over to Rigby, "Take my hand".

Rigby turned to Mordecai's direction, "I'm not holding your hand dude".

Mordecai reached over and grabbed Rigby's hand, "Stop being a baby, we can't have you walking into things the whole way to Skips".

"Fine" Rigby groaned as Mordecai led him through the hallway, "Let's fix this as soon as possible".

* * *

Mordecai knocked on the door, shortly after it opened. Skips looked out and as soon as he noticed who it was he knew something was up, "What happened?"

"Hey Skips" Mordecai said awkwardly, "_**Sooo**_, Rigby got these cybernetic eye implants because he didn't like his glasses and now they won't stop shooting lasers out of them".

"I see" Skips nodded, "Well technology and computers aren't my specialty I think I might know someone who can help" he skipped over to his phone and processed to dial a number.

It rang twice before he heard a voice on the other end, "Hey Skips, how's it going?"

"Techmo, would you be able to come over here. I sort of need your help on something?"

"Sorry I can't, I'm at the New Tech Convention in Tokyo right now" Techmo explained, "But maybe I can still be of service, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well Rigby has computer eyes that are shooting lasers out uncontrollably" Skips elaborated.

"Oh that's not good" they heard him say through the phone, "From my experiences with optical implants once the lasers start acting up they're pretty much done for".

"Come on" Rigby cried out, "You mean I'm gonna have to go back to Dr. Shelley and have him replace them?"

"Wait, did you say Dr. Shelley?" Techmo asked, he sounded extremely concerned, "Was he a tall guy with black hair, has a short assistant who hunch's all the time?"

Rigby froze for a second as everyone looked at him, waiting for his answer, "_**Uh**_, yeah".

"Oh boy" Techmo groaned, "That's not good. He use to work at one of the biggest augmentation companies in the world, but then he got caught selling implants illegally under the table and was fired. People said he went crazy and disappeared after that, no one's heard of him in six years".

Mordecai glared at Rigby, "You got eye implants from a mad scientist?"

He moved his head towards his voice, "How was I supposed to know, his secret basement lab looks so professional".

"If what I heard about Shelley is accurate then the implants he gave you are probably faulty" Techmo warned over the phone, "If the lasers are on the fritz then it's only a matter of time before the whole implant overheats and explodes".

"What" Rigby yelled out in horror.

"We don't have much time" Skips stated, "Rigby, do you remember where his lab is?"

"Yeah, but I can't you to it with my eyes closed" Rigby answered.

"Don't worry, I think I have something to help with that" Skips opened one of his dresser drawers and rummaged through a bunch of random items before pulling out a pair of sunglasses. He skipped over and handed them to Rigby, "Here, these glasses have lenses made out of a special crystal. They should be able to stop the lasers".

Rigby put the glasses on and slowly opened his eyes, let Skips predicted the lenses were able to stop them, "Hey, they work".

Skips nodded his head, "Good".

Mordecai then looked over at Skips, "Skips, I just want to say that it is _**so**_ cool that you just had these lying around".

Skips turned to him and smiled, "Yeah I know, I have a lot of interesting things lying around here".

* * *

**Author's Note:  
That's the end of chapter 2, and like always I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read and I'd especially like to thank everyone who left a review of last chapter. If you didn't notice Crimson Steer is a parody of Red Bull. Also I've noticed that this is more than could fit into a single episode, which sucks because I was trying to write this like a possible episode. I don't know how they come up with full stories for an eleven minute show, it's crazy. Anyway thanks again for reading and if you'd like check out my other stories, you know, if you feel like it. **


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